Of Men and Dogs

When you live in a foreign place, you start to pay attention to the smallest details. Living on a tropical island in Thailand, life is slow and the time to observe lengthy. Lately, I have been contemplating if men have evolved more than dogs. The more I observe the more I note that the behavioral patterns of the male of both species are similar. A male dog is happy to hump anything: a chair, your leg, or another dog, irrespective of gender. A man is happy to hump anything: a pillow, your leg, any woman and even men too. A dog has the advantage of being able to lick its private regions, something I suspect every man has pondered.

But when a female is in heat the world goes on its side. When she sends out her sexual signals males take notice. They come from all over; some you have never seen before, even though the community is small. A male will follow a female around as though on a leash - and a very short one at that. Every time she stops he slides a little closer, hoping, waiting for a signal. She is in total control and knows it as she toys him. He just wants sex but she forces him to be attentive, metering her favors to keep him focused.

In this particular case, the female is a small Asian, Shitsu, and her lover a fairly large German, shepherd. He is looking for one thing and she holds the key to his pleasure. She is keenly aware of this and offers enough to keep him eager. Her special power keeps him close at hand. Other males recognize the signs, but she has chosen one lover. The others look longingly while he basks in the glory of her attention.

This morning, she is perched on a beach chair. He sits at her feet, big eyes staring lustfully, tongue hanging from the side of his mouth, hoping she will come down from her throne. He can smell sex and is eager. She simply sits, knowing he will not leave unless sent away by her mother or father. She even plays on this, teasing both the male and her parents by engaging in a coy game of deceit. He cares not and waits though his patience runs thin while desire rages. Her father comes out in a show of force and he retreats to a safe distance. As soon as the father turns away, he slinks back to the base of her throne. Mother calls to her but she feigns deafness.

If she so much as moves a muscle, he leaps to his feet hoping this might be the moment. She merely re-adjusts her seat and he hangs his head dejected while slipping closer. This is the daytime routine. When the sun goes down, the lights dimmed and parents asleep there are no witnesses. She lets him come to her and have his way with her. This is the inevitable conclusion. The evidence is undeniable in the early morning when she can be caught lying in his arms. The glow in their eyes tells the truth of the night before. As day breaks, she returns to her throne and he returns to his attentive position, dreaming for the night to return.

This scenario is repeated along the beach, across the island, throughout the nation and around the world. Under the shade of palm trees and in dimly lit alleys, wherever the sexes meet a universal ritual is performed, man or dog.

Tim Morch, Copyright 2006